Ask Me

Most people have secrets. Sometimes they share it to others who are important to them. Sometimes, they share it to people who may not even be important, but because they just understand readily. Lots of people have these closets in their mind and in their soul. For reasons remaining to be unknown, these closets remain unopened for the longest time. Whatever's that's inside are never shown - simply because.

I have a couple of closets. Some, have not been acknowledged until recently. Lately, I have these questions in my mind, and it is only now that I am starting to understand, and maybe accept - little by little.

I am not the type of person though, who divulges things without being asked first. You may find me someone who talks a lot under normal circumstances, but if you really listened...I wasn't really speaking. Most of the things that pass between my lips have just been words. Words come and go. I want to say something now. Something that will last, something that will be a secret between us.

Most of the time, I just listen. I bide my time and take in all that I can muster. Until now, I have kept my silence. So what changed? Lots. Things change, people change. I changed - in more ways than one, in a lot more ways than you can imagine, in a lot more ways than some of you can maybe accept.

I have close friends whom I thought knew me inside out, and until now, I have been continually thankful for the things they have shown and proven to me. I have friends who may not know me inside out, but for some reason, I decided to start with them so there would be less questions. Before , I thought that one of the benefits of having old friends is that you don't have to explain yourself to them anymore. This time, it might be the other way around. My old friends knew me from before, and had there been any changes, they would be the first ones to notice - and ask questions.

I have been waiting for any one of them to ask me. I dropped hints here and there. But I guess friends normally don't notice the slightest hints anymore, simply because they've become too comfortable with who I was. Now, I want them to ask. Because this time, I know I am ready. I have gotten past that threshold of knowing myself a little bit better, and I have gotten over that fear of revealing a bit more of myself.

Ask me.
I know you have questions now. If you had the slightest inkling before, don't put it our of your mind anymore. See, I wanted to share this with you all this time, but you never asked the question. These days, lot and lots of new people start to know things about me, but I feel regret in not allowing my old friends to know about it first.

I am what I am.
I love as I am.
I show me as I am....
And up to this day, I remain your old friend, despite the changes...despite of what I've become.

Ask me the right questions.
I've dared myself to answer.

the new "do"

Good Friends

Getting together with good friends with good food and a good ol' camera handy always spells F-U-N. I've been working my ass so hard as of late. But just after spending a couple of hours with these guys, I felt rejuvenated right away. There's simply nothing heartfelt laughter, tons of hugs and warm kisses can't cure these days. If I may quote Shelay,

"Hay Jing, sarap...para akong galing sa bakasyon..."

Kurak! I've been lucky enough to have found friends in the workplace. I've always been attached to my college friends in the past, and somehow, without knowing it, I have subconsciously been shying away from establishing new bonds with other poeple.

Over time though, I have learned to accept that no matter how great my old friendships may have been, they are already a part of my past. Something good is worth keeping but just the same, they also fade away. Not to say though that I severe old ties. Because I don't.

I just realized one day that I can't live in the past like I used to anymore. I need to reach out to other people. And I needed to give myself another chance to experience good friendship again.

It feels nice to have friends. Sometimes it's what keeps me going. It makes me feel that no matter what, I got these people behind me and I know they're there for keeps.