I call my most recent escapade the "bathroom gimmick". Why? Two reasons.
First, it happened in good 'ol Los Baños, which, if I remember my Spanish correctly, is the term for "bathing" (from the español word,
bañar, meaning "to bath" or "to wash"). The second reason will be explained by the following
cuento. I'm warning you though, this is going to be a long post. Alright?
Alright. So it happened on a very late Thursday evening after we
pornstar** people learned that we won't be training for the next 5 (five??!!!) days. Ye, you got it right sweetie.
Limang bwaka-ng-shet na araw na walang trabaho! So I guess this was a perfect time for that long awaited gimmick for the mentors, right? Wrong. Most of the mentors at PBCOM have to work Friday and Saturday. As for me and Mel, we actually needed to go to
sumwer-
Laguna before Saturday because we both needed to find a place for our
las familias' gimmicks for next weekend. So although the perfect scenario was to get all the mentors gimmick with us, we set to go on Friday afternoon with Lance, Blue, Louie (Lance's significant other), and Alfonso (Mel's
labidabs).
No, I wasn't too OC with the preparations. And yes, I did everything hurriedly, with not so much time to pack and re-pack and then some like what I do with most of my trips. I actually slept as soon as I got home and crammed packing as soon as I got up.
Meeting place was at Ayala-Makati of course, and although I lived the farthest, I was the first to get on site. Blue, who lived the 2nd farthest came in next. And the 3rd was Mama Mel, which of course set the trend that the person who lived the nearest (Lance!!) arrived the last.
Mama Mel was driving the truck (yes, a truck like an elf - picture this,
yung pangdeliver ng mineral water), with Alfonso right beside her. The rest of us stayed at the back, at
sus mio, sumisigaw kame para makapag-usap. Route was EDSA-Alabang-Expressway and you know how buses and trucks would race by along those roads, right? And friends, believe me when I say
na namanhid ang mukha ko sa lakas ng hangin, at ang kulot kong buhok, esponghado at parang naka tease sa pagkatayo. So I guess you get the picture, but lemme show you some pics
at baka naman napakapangit nung inimagine mo.
As soon as we got to Pansol, we knew we needed to find a resort to our liking really fast coz people were queueing already. Haggling our way for a private resort was so out of the question since people would practically shove to be in our place. Prices were ridiculously expensive and the whole place was literally crawling with
gimekeras and familias all set to spend the holiday immersed in pools.
After checking out at least 5 places, we ended up in a pathetic place called Castillo Royal or something. It was not even a private sanctuary. There were 3 pools (they're occupied to the hilt, so it doesn't freakin' matter!), and the only room we could get was a pathetic, dimly lit, fan-aired, 1 bed, with pockmarked walls space.
Sabi ni Louie, me nahuli pa siyang ipis. The price, in all fairnessm was not so expensive as in
5-star galore... We actually paid 1720Php for the lodging and entrance,
pero naman!
We stayed in the pool for just about 30 minutes and we had to harass other people (especially kids) so they won't dare get in with us. Blue was actually yelling,
"May sakiit akoooo!!" And I would shout, "Gonorrhea!!" just to disgust people
and keep them off
OUR pool. For the kids, who may not understand the STD term, we yelled something like,
"Malalim, malulunod ka! Nakakamatay dito!" We eventually stopped coz people came in gazillions after that.
Shet na Castillo Royal yan, dapat magpagawa sila ng wanmilyon pools! Anyhoits, we went up to our room and drank a couple of beers. Now, that was fun. We actually tried to wait until all the other people got tired and went to sleep so we could have the pools to ourselves. Hmp, fat chance. We got tired and I decided to get a shower already. Now this was where I started feeling the clues that this was to be called my bathroom gimmick. For some freakin reason, this particular resort had no H2O in the 2nd floor bathroom where our room was. I went down to the first floor. The 1st floor bathroom didn't have a door that closes though. It was the kind of shower room meant for wetting the suit or the body before swimming. Not for actually bathing.
For the love of god, I had to do what I need to do. So with my eyes glued to the semi-opened door, I stood under the shower (
with eyes opened talaga!) in my birth suit. I had to keep my towel nearby so I could cover myself in a worse-case scenario. The thing was, my towel soaked with me. I wouldn't say I had enough time to actually rinse myself of soap and shampoo and conditioner. In fact, I couldn't remember now how I actually bathed.
Parang di na nga yata ako nagshampoo. It couldn't have taken me more than 5 minutes!
Bwaka-ng-shet no?And then I went back to our room where we had
to fit 6 gorgeous people on a bed meant for 2. Come morning, I couldn't say I had a good night's sleep. I could say the others felt the same way. Swarms of swimmers were still in the pool and though we still wanted to swim, we felt uncomfortable sharing the small pools with strangers. We needed to check out by 7AM lest we get charged additonal. I said, "Let's get the hell out of here."
I took the whole group to my favorite "alma mater", YUPI-ELBI. Most of us were hikers so I was thinking of taking them to flat rocks or botanical or somewhere. Botanical was closed but we actually had the whole mountain to ourselves so we had breakfast there. We had a round of volleyball and then some. And then like some sudden inspiration hit me, I thought of "Pook ni Mariang Makiling." OMG, how can I forget. I spent one of my wildest, wildest days there sometime in my past. Aaah, eto na, me memory gap na si Jing.So akyat kame sa kabilang bundok, at shet, when we saw the place and the lodging prices, we had to shake our heads. For a measly thousand bucks, we could have had a cottage with 2 rooms, 6 beds and a veranda. For 40Php per pax, we could swim in the Olympic size pool. And for 25Php, we could wander aimlessly in the virgin forest reserve for the whole freakin day.
Hay sarap.So ayun, nagpaka-negra nako buong araw. So ayun, swimming dito. Swimming doon. At tinuruan pa namin ni Alfonso si Mama Mel mag-treading. So ayun, nag-hike kame at umakyat sa view deck. At naglaro pa kame ng "Tulisan at Ace Vergel" habang nasa forest kame. Tapos kumain kame ng banana con yelo. At adobo at embutido sa "Kainan ng mga Diwata." At shet, nag-sunbathe ako at nakatulog habang bilad sa araw!
Now the entire day could have ended fabulously if I only left the pool just a couple of minutes earlier. But no, when Blue left the pool at around 4PM, Mel and I decided to stay coz I was teaching her how to tread water. I also wanted to practice my strokes. So we stayed for around 30 minutes more. By 4:30, we decided to call it a day and start showering.
Pagdating sa banyo, maniwala't hindi, walang TUBIG. Actually, nag start na kame maligo. Pero nung may shampoo na sa palad ko, ayun na! Wala na... Tang-ina! Kahapon pa ko di nagshashampoo! Anong akala niyo sa buhok ko, perpekto??!!Mama Mel went to Alfonso who was in the Men's bathroom.
Me tubig daw doon. Alfonso offered to be a lookout so Mama Mel and I could have some privacy. 2 problems : the men's CR had 2 entrances and; (hang on to your seat) it had no roof! Finally, Alfonso managed to talk to some guys outside to help him explain to the other males that some girls were to use the bathroom.
Hay, privacy, finally. Pag -on namin ng faucet at shower, may konting tubig pa. Miya-miya, ni hindi pa kame gumagalaw, tumigil na rin ang tubig... Sa totoo lang, give up na ko. Shet, kung panata ko ang di pagligo, sige na, gagawin ko na!I went back to the Women's bathroom, and with a
tabo-full of H2o, I rinsed and washed my vital parts as best as I can and promptly dressed.
On the way to Manila, I finally realized how funny the situation is. I haven't been taking a bath properly for almost 2 days already, when I was supposed to be in a place that means "bathrooms". I almost didn't care coz home was just 2 hours away, and I could then soak til eternity when I get home. Something couldn't wait however. Somewhere in Calamba, I had to take a leak. I asked Alfonso to stop in the next gas station.
We stopped at Shell. I got down from the truck and went to the CR to do my deed. It should only have taken me around 5 minutes. Ten, at the most. It feel surreal that when I finally was able to relieve myself, I found myself locked in the CR. The doors would not budge, man. The locks were jammed.
Waaaahh. Taeng mga banyo to, inaaway ako....Kala ko niloloko ako ni Lance or ni Alfonso. Kinakausap ko pa sila na wag na nila hawakan knob sa kabilang side. Matagal-tagal din yun..tumatawa pa ko kunyari kase akala ko nijojoke nila ako. Hinde pala! Putsa, sira ang putsang knob!! Buti na lang naalala ko na dala ko cellphone ko. Tinawagan ko na sila. At tinawag pa ni Mama Mel ang mga gas boys. At eto, nung andun na yung mga gas boys, gumana na ulit ang door knob! Shit, pinahiya lang po ako ng door knob, bow!
Okay, now I'm still trying make sense of my bathroom escapades for the last two days. Funny that it should happen in a place called Los Baños. It has been a while since I last visited the place. This place holds a lot of sad, melancholic and nostalgic memories for me. And I wonder if the gods conspired this time to make me remember Los Baños as one happy, funny place. Ye, I think that's it. Hihi.
And so we just came back to the Metro from one of the hidden places in the mountains, and I know this post is darn late, and that I just haven't the time to write lately, and so this sentence is becoming too long so I'll just cut it... whew. Ano daw sinasabi ko? Ewan.
