Jaded

Two of my dearest friends are the saddest of people today. Let me tell you a story.

We were friends. It started quite nicely, like new spring breaking the winter. The 2 fell in love, and I watched them grow to be one of the happiest couples I know. I was glad. After a couple of months, there were fights. Nasty words were thrown, but they just kept getting back together. Love conquers all, so they say - and though jaded in love that I was, I started to quite believe in it too. Then months became years. And our friendship just kept getting stronger. Their love, maybe even stronger. But like all things then and now, tests just have to come along the way. I the end, you just have to take it, if you pass, then it's all good.

Someone drove home intoxicated one night. Someone got worried. Someone got nagged. Someone got mad. Two people fought. One asked for space. The other had to give it.

10 days. Someone was confused. Someone was sad. Someone took someone else in a place where people do intimate things. And someone learned about it. And the question was, "Why?"

I thought you needed space to think things through. I thought you wanted to fix this so you had to go away for a while.

And someone said, "I was confused and sad and frustrated because of what happened between us. I am angry at you because nobody was left to care for me"

But wasn't it you who asked for space? Wasn't it you who drove home drunk one night and got mad because someone was concerned? Wasn't it you who finally had to end it? What right do you have now to put the blame on someone else?

You see, I ask these questions now because my friends have been dying to hear from me. I've always been someone who never left their side. I was someone who watched and listened. They thought I knew everything. They thought I could fix everything. Little did they know that it was me who learned from them this time. And whatever that I've learned from them is something I wish I haven't.

Yes, they say love conquers all. Jaded though that I was, I believed in it too. But this time, I simply don't see love in the equation. It was deception and lies that caused all these. It was pride and anger that made you do stupid things. It was you.
Count me out of this.

I'm Back?

I'm back! Err, not quite... I have no reason for being away. There is never any acceptable reason why someone goes away. I've been ignoring this blog for quite some time now, and when I tried logging in just a couple of minuets ago, I
didn't remember my log-in and password anymore.

Well, cutting the story short, I finally had to reset everything and save from literally starting from scratch, here I am -- I'm back, and blogging -- but not just quite yet.

That is the sad thing about people going away. You see, we all tend to forget. We forget the beauty of youth. We neglect old feelings. We fail to remember the beauty of what was once shared. People go away so fast not caring to store their log-ins and passwords in a safe place. So when they do decide to come back, they practically have to start all over again. WE NEVER LEARN.

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My friends judge my moodswings thru my blog. If I have been writing a lot, something's wrong with my life. If I've been awfully quiet, then I am most likely having the time of my life. Sniff, how I wish this holds true this time. I am neither exultant nor jovial at this point in my life. Somehow, everything just isn't falling in their proper places lately. I find myself tired, bored, sick and uninspired all at the same time. I drown myself in sheer poignancy amidst watching collections of old TV series and soap operas.


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I know I need to shape up soon. There are people out there who need me strong.
But for once, why can't I just let myself be weak?