Flowers

I can't help it. There are times when I just compare my blog to someone else's.

On some nights when I let the surfing tides take me to my links (and subsequently to their links), I so rarely but nevertheless get the pangs of jealousy surface. There are bloggers out there who write about travelling the world. And there are those who write their own adventures found in extreme sports, love affairs, intense bashes, celebrated events and out-of-this-world watcha-ma-call-its.

This blogger here writes about her daily musings.

Oh yes, there are others out there like me. And though I may sound like it, no, I am not putting them down. The thing is, I want to have my own adventure too. I would want to write about it too. I may have had my chance on that. Could I have missed it already?

I am 26 years old. If I think about it, I've lived quite an outrageous, fierce, untamed and feral life. I could go on and on telling you about all the stuff I did back then. But that's just it. It is all in the past now. I don't want to have a blog that does nothing but reminisce the good ol' times. Where's the fun in that? I am in the present, and I should be in the NOW.

Should.
And if I don't want to?
Tough luck.
Sorry, try again.

Yep, that's what I'm doing now. I am trying - again. Some people live like that. They treat life on a trial and error basis. I know, coz I did that too. And boy, did I err so much! I learned so many stuff the hard way. As mundane as this may sound, "I stumbled and fall, but stood through it all." (sounds like an old familiar lyric, ayt?)
Sometimes it gets so painful thinking of the blunders and gaffes I've done. Oftentimes, I still deny my errors in judgment. But what the heck, I am living this life the best way I know how, and if I maybe die tomorrow, I'd know I would have died trying.

Wait, I'm digressing.
As I was saying, I am occasionally jealous of other people's blogs. When I'm surfing on my favorite reads like tasha / ala / jim / joey /grace I sometimes wonder if they would so much give a glance at what I've been writing in here. I follow and read their stuff like a good friend listens to another. And it kills my week when I don't find anything new on their turf.

You know what's really odd? I was supposed to write something entirely different today. I've been blog-hopping and my envious, covetous blogger-self just re-surfaced. I was basically playing the juicy stuff inside my head all morning and I was bent on writing about it.
Say, did I even come close to doing that? Nah, I didn't think so.
Oh well.

It's perfectly alright dah-lings. After all, I didn't name this site AROUND THE CORNER for nothing. Blog description says, "Stop and Smell the Flowers, You Pass This Way Just Once.."
So go ahead, sniff some more. I've planted everywhere but the flowers only come once in a while. Sign says you come just once, but you may wanna keep coming back. I mean hey, I lurk in your corners almost everyday. I feel like a peeping tom sometimes hopping from one blog to another. No one's stopping you from loitering in my corner.

One of these days, you just might catch and smell something in full bloom. And that's when we're gonna smell the flowers. Together. That'll be the big day. The day I'm gonna write about my adventure. Not about past, old exploits. Not about some deeply-embedded memory from long ago. Because as special and intense my past quests may have been, they were, are and will be exclusively history.

One day, I will write something totally explosive.
And one day it will awe you,
And you will be oggling your eyes at my blog,
And you will be jealous too,
Someday.

hmp!

yes you.
shut the fuck up, okay?
can't you think of something besides yourself for even just one second?
you think the world revolves around you?
think again.
oh no, think longer.
or are you even capable of thinking?
i didn't think so.
well, you'd better start.
co'z if you think i'll hang around any longer for this crap you call your life, you are so out of it.
i'm gone even before you can utter your freakin' lover's name.
i'm gone, you hear?
i won't put up with this any longer and i bet you don't even have a clue.
you might be wondering right this very second,
is this log talkin bout you?
well, whadda ya think?
oops, sorry i had to ask.
you're not capable of using that mush you call your brain, right?
aaaggh, why am i even bothering to let you know...
okay, irate mode--> turned OFF

have a nice day na lang!
hmp.

booboo!

I made a major booboo at work today. Keep the eyebrows down people, I'm not gettin' fired yet thank gawd! But, but, but...

I was hangin 'round my boss' desk after work with a coupla' other guys from the team. No big deal, Sam's cool with that. Usually after work, we dawdle by his desk doin some' small stuff and small talk.

Sam just bought a new Ericson W800 phone. The thing came with a hands-free set with earphones that look a bit like small tubed ice. Mayu, a teammate, said it looked like a nipple. See, we couldn't really agree until Shelly blurted out, "Ah, lam ko na, parang kuntil!".

Then I go thinkin', Yep Shelly's right..It sure does look like a kuntil..
Then Sam asks what a kuntil was.
And then I go.. (whispering) "C-L-I-T...got it?"
The other guys heard it, and Mayet couldnt help herself..."Jing mali! Iba yun, iba yun!!!!"
What?
Shit, I was thinking of "tinggil".. oh gawd..Please don't tell me I just spelled out clit to my boss..!
I slowly inched away from Sam's desk..
Said, "Bye-ee guys!"
And went home as I fast as I could.
Tinggil..Kuntil..Where in the world do I get my freakin' ideas?!

undefined...inane...bland

I don't know why I am feeling a bit down today. No, I take that back. I am not sad, like teary-eyed-sad. It's more of having my senti mode turned on, I guess.

Trigger songs would make my eyes mushy. Familiar scents take me back to some forgotten past. A phrase spoken by a stranger becomes full of sense and meaning. I stare at my mug for a full 10 minutes thinking about life. I strike a conservation hoping to talk some sense out of the usual blahs and blehs and haha's at the workplace. I keep wondering if I am happy or not. What the *bleep* is happening here?!

This girl is clueless.

I feel shallow and pointless. It's like I've lost passion in doing the things that have meant a lot to me in the past. I rarely play my guitar now. There goes song composition too. Except for these sporadical logs, I almost never write anymore. No more plays. No backstage stories to share. No applause to hear. No lines to deliver. No more backpacking in some unheard of, hidden towns out of the city anymore. No more experimental videos that I take with my friends. No late walks. No late stories.

No life?

I used to be a party manager cum gimik commander cum crux of events. I yearned, lived and breathed action. I never stayed in one place. I craved, desired, hungered and ached for life and being alive.

Am I dead?

My world now revolves around earning money, sleeping and eating. I never knew life so inane and undefined. Can I be any more bland than this?

My gawd, I'm whining...shit.

yehey!

got my new ipod today. yehey! layp is gud!

weird dream

Oh well, in the meantime, I had the weirdest dream last night. I was applying for law scool and basically, they didn't accept me. Damn. There goes my dream of becoming a lawyer...

The weird thing in the dream was that they didn't get me for the lousiest reason -- they said I was fat! Gawd!

I mean I was not physically fat but the "oil level in my blood/urine" ( is there such thing??) seemed to have gone up to monstrous levels...

AAAh!!! What a nightmare... And not because I was not accepted for law school. I'm more afraid of going to the bathroom and find myself all slicky and slimy with OIL.
Sheesh!

I forget!

I was supposed to write a juicy piece today, and I've been thinking about it for hours now. As soon as I faced my PC however, all thoughts escaped my mind. What the f*ck! Talk about forgetful moi!

AAAGHH!