Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Feeling Freshman

Sabi ni joey, grumaduate daw kami ng hayskul 10 years ago today. Ganun na ba katagal? Oo, ganun na katagal. Dami na lumipas, dami na dumaan. Maraming nagbago, maraming nawala. Marami sa mga kaibigan ko noon, di ko na alam kung nasaan ngayon. Naubusan, nawalan na ako ng mga balita. Kunsabagay, college pa lang, nawala naman talaga akong parang bula. Ang huli kong yapak sa Pisay, yun yung unang Alumni Homecoming nung 1st year college ako. Ewan ko ba kasi kung bakit napadpad ako sa YUPI-ELBI nung kolehiyo. Pero ibang istorya yang Elbi na yan. No regrets naman, kumbaga. Pero saka na ang kuwento dyan. Mas naiisip ko ngayon ang hayskul. Ang weird nga eh, parang lumipas lang sa kin ang Pisay days ko na parang panaginip. Di na klaro sa kin ang maraming memories nung panahon na yun. Weird nga eh, kung tutuusin, feeling ko yun yung time na pinakamasaya ako. Pero parang ang labo na talaga ng memories ko ng Pisay days ko. Me nahanap ako na V8 tape na kinunan nung hayskul days ko. Sa dorm kase ako tumira nun, so every night, me iba't-ibang tripping mga kasama kong estudyante dun. One nigfht, naisipan naming magkuhanan ng video. Napanood ko ulit lately lang. Mukhang ang saya-saya ko sa video. As in. Pero habang nanonod ako, pinipilit ko ding hukayin ang utak ko sa kahit konting alaala man lang ng gabing yun. Wala talaga. Shet. Siguro me tama na utak ko sa daming toma at yosi nung college sa Elbi. O siguro, me epekto na rin yung walang puknat kong night life nung college ako. O kaya, naapektuhan na talaga ang utak ko sa mga maraming emotional rollercoasters na sinakyan ko. Kumbaga, nag-compartmentalize ako, at yung ibang isinara kong parts ng buhay ko, di ko na naalalang buksan ulit. Heavy ba? Ahihi. Kukuwento ko sana kung anong mga emotional rollercoasters tong mga to, pero nakow, ibang kuwento po ang college life ko. Ibang kuwento ang Elbi. So ayun, 10 years ago nga, grumaduate ako hayskul. Napakatagal na pala talaga. Marami na kong nakita. Maraming narinig at napakinggan. Medyo malayo na din ang aking mga napuntahan. Pero sa totoo lang, hindi ganun kalaki ang pinagbago ko. Naalala ko tuloy yung sinabi ng isang napakabuti kong kaibigan. Sabi niya, "Lahat tayo, freshman sa buhay. Laging nangangapa. Laging me pagbabago. Lagi tayong me matutunan." Matagal na niyang sinabi yun. Sabi ko sa kanya noon, "Mali ka." Sabi ko noon na perception lang ang pagiging "freshman". Nasa pagdadala yan. Sabi ko noon. Pero ngayon, ewan ko ba, kainin ko na lang siguro yung sinabi ko. Sa tinagal-tagal ng panahon, pakiramdam ko marami pa ko dapat matutunan. Me patutunguhan na di ko naman alam kung saan. Laging parang kung kelan komportable na ko sa sitwasyon, kelangan ko na ulit umalis at baguhin lahat. Parang meron pa akong hinahanap. Ewan. Ayon, napahaba yata ito a. Si Joey kse eh, kung anik-anik pa ang naaalala. Kunsabagay, masaya talaga ang hayskul. Lalo na sa Pisay. Me sariling mundo kami noon. Me sariling mga pangarap. Sampung taon na lumipas. Pero feeling ko Freshman pa din ako. Ano daw? Labo. Basta, ganun.

*** Nakikinig ako ngayon ng The Freshman ng Verve Pipe. Nagpaka senti na ang Jing! Nakow. ***

Sunday, March 26, 2006

relics of the past


Taken years and years ago. 1993.
Pisay. Sophomore. Ylang-Ylang.
Happy. Peaceful. Bliss.
Friendship. Dreams.
A Memory.

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Year


Saturday, March 25, 2006

Anger Management 101

I do not justify anything. I never do. My friends do not require explanations; and my enemies would not listen nor understand anyway.

I know that respect is mutual. And that if I don't respect others' viewpoint, chances are they won't acknowledge mine. Yes, there may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. Respect is not belittled when you are only doing what you think is right.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
if you poison us, do we not die?
and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

But then again, I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man. I will show a little bit of my anger everyday instead of showing a lot of it on one day. In the end, the best way to beat my enemy is to beat her at politeness.

Monday, March 20, 2006

ticktock

It was a time bomb ticking. Ticktock. Tick-tock. Days, minutes, seconds. It was just a matter of time. I filed for resignation already. 30 days, and I'm out. Am I joining the bandwagon? It's a chariot, sweetie. A grand, golden carousel on wheels. And them kings and queens ride it. That's where I'm riding. Them kings and queens...they lived happily ever after.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

so, what's wrong with these pictures?

How do you think? I want to get to know my readers. So, what's wrong with these pictures? Is there, at all? Which one do you like best? The one you like the least? Why? Play with my mind. Mess with my brain. Let's get all academic and goofy at the same time. Yes, let's. Most of us are visual people. Now, tell me what you think about these.



















Monday, March 13, 2006

erratic ponderings

  • My middle back is killing me. Pipo tells me its stress.
  • I haven'd had a footspa for the longest time. I think my feet are asking for one- right now!
  • As usual, I am once again looking forward to my badminton session at Pioneer later. Time to sweat it out, Siyoktong.
  • I've been having amazing dreams for 2 consucutive nights now. I tend to wake up with a smile these days.
  • I just incurred my 1st unofficial absence from the office in 1 year and 3 months. I'm printing my resignation letter real soon.
  • "Freshman" by the Verve Pipe is playing on the Mac right now. God, I miss my Ikot friends.
  • I would love to feel an adrenaline rush if only for one more time. I feel bored outta my wits.
  • The anger is seething just below the surface. I'm ready to explode anytime.
  • The world buys success. Bosses, no matter how incompetent are revered. Yuck.
  • Pandora's box has opened. I saw it. I felt it. Hope is about to come.
  • Alex just passed by my desk, and he was whistling. I miss my father, he whistles , thats why.
  • I just ate a whole pack of Corn Bits - somebody flush-out this garlic-ky, pungent smell outta my dental orifice!
  • I just drank a whole bottle of packed iced tea. And now, I need to go to the CR.
  • Bye for now...(you know where I'm going)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

fly high ravens...

Ravens - large black birds associated through history with mischief, darkness, and melancholia. While it is flying within its territory, the raven is a friendly, unsuspicious bird. When it is nesting, however, the raven is wary and secretive.

In popular western literature, they symbolize darkness, depression, and death (popularized in Edgar Allan Poe's poem, 'The Raven'). In medieval times they stood for virility. Among native cultures, Raven is the 'trickster' spirit, a popular totem, and the creator of man, who placed the Sun in the sky.

...and thus, the Ravens were defined. But as you may, these are but definitions - enclosures of a limited mind. We know better Ravens, and its time to prove it. Fly high, amigos.
Fly high...and be free.


Monday, March 06, 2006

jing: defined


jing --

[noun]:

A master blogger

Arena

(known to self and others)

confident, independent, intelligent, logical, observant

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, adaptable, bold, caring, cheerful, clever, dignified, energetic, friendly, happy, helpful, ingenious, knowledgeable, loving, mature, modest, organised, patient, quiet, relaxed, searching, sensible, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

sentimental

Unknown

(known to nobody)

brave, calm, complex, dependable, extroverted, giving, idealistic, introverted, kind, nervous, powerful, proud, reflective, religious, responsive, self-assertive, self-conscious, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense

All Percentages

able (11%) accepting (11%) adaptable (11%) bold (11%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (22%) cheerful (11%) clever (11%) complex (0%) confident (11%) dependable (0%) dignified (11%) energetic (11%) extroverted (0%) friendly (22%) giving (0%) happy (11%) helpful (11%) idealistic (0%) independent (11%) ingenious (11%) intelligent (22%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (44%) logical (11%) loving (11%) mature (22%) modest (11%) nervous (0%) observant (22%) organised (11%) patient (11%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (11%) reflective (0%) relaxed (11%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (11%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (33%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (44%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (33%) warm (11%) wise (11%) witty (33%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 12.3.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view siyoktong's full data.

blog cloud

Friday, March 03, 2006

Joyeux Anniversaire Memot!

This is Memot, my 2nd sister. She never reads my blog, but now I'm giving her a reason to. Today is her 21st birthday. I refuse to greet her in any way except thru here. [okay, fine, I did text her as soon as I got up last night - but aside from that...] I digress.

Memot is like the heart of the family. Siya lang ang malambing sa 'min. Siya lang din ang madalas magtampo. Meng is the one closest to the parental units among us siblings, specially to papa. The best sila maglambingan ng papa namin, kaya it follows na the best din silang magtampuhan.

Meng is always the first to cry whenever Con and I have our serious rifts. She has never been one to take sides but you always feel her sadness whenever something is amiss with the family. Lagi patok jokes nito sa bahay, lalo na pag umuuwi kame sa probinsya. Conversations in the dining room [where the Trinidad's are most often seen] are usually orchestrated by her. Pati pagpili ng handa for special occasions like Christmas and New Year, siya na rin nasusunod. Naming of pets automatically falls to her. All our dogs were baptized by Memot.

Here in Manila, where we try to live a pseudo-home with Con and Mai, Meng is in-charge of all finances. She may be the youngest of us sisters but Fatee, our maid, goes up to her whenever there are house decisions to make. She gets to keep the house money or funds as we call it. Only Meng knows where to find which. The moment Fatee goes on vacation, it is Meng who makes sure dinner is ready by the time we get home.

Wow, shet Memot, binenta na kita kabs! Today is your 21st birthday sweetie, and I just wish you the best of everything. Mwah! Love you!

Happy Birthday.